


Why'd you only call me when you're high?

by Scherry



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Dysfunctional Relationships, Kaihun - Freeform, M/M, References to Arctic Monkeys, sekai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 21:44:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10648650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scherry/pseuds/Scherry
Summary: And even though it was 3 in the morning Jongin would pick up his calls and open the door for him, and he didn't care if Sehun was only there because he was drunk





	Why'd you only call me when you're high?

"H-Harder..."

Damn Jongin, why are you letting this happen again?  _ Another thrust _ . It's the third time this week.  _ Another _ . He always calls you with that raspy smooth voice of his and you allow him to come like you lived for it _? This i-is ri-ridicu-lous _ . You act like you live for him.

He calls you every time he drinks, smokes or whatever the hell he'd been doing, and you simply can't find it in yourself to tell him no. Sehun always arrives here with that strong smell of whisky - or liquor, or vodka-, but you're never capable of sending him off, or at least, shut the door on his face. Maybe you can't live without being his.

Sometimes, it doesn't even look like you're not a couple anymore, at least that's what people from outside get from you two. It's routine: he calls you, he comes over, you two fuck, he sleeps over, you leave for work and when you get home he's already gone. Lately, he's been acting like that, but before Sehun wasn't ashamed of just get his shoes and leave by your front door, once you two were done. He's never tried to fake anything, even if he knew reality would destroy you; but who can blame him, right?

You're just the idiot who after all these sporadic late night encounters, keeps on feeding your hopes - which you know are dead since the beginning- that maybe Sehun and Jongin will become something together, instead of Jongin stay being the cashier and Sehun, the reckless free spirit. I know you wish for stability, and you wish to be stable with him, but you know better than anyone else this is pretty much impossible.

In the beginning, I remember you calling him late at night, countless times, just to know if he was fine or if he'd come back the next night, but he'd rarely pick up your calls and when he did he was so high he barely figured who he was talking to.

"I-I'm close..."

Before, Sehun used to call you Nini, but this is from your golden years, years in which he'd pick up your calls and answer you completely sober. He used to call you to wish you a goodnight, to ask you how your day was, to ask you out on dates; you two used to hold hands and kiss in front of beaches, you said you loved each other so much. You two used to be a couple, a happy one.

However, you didn't go on this ride clueless, Jongin. You met Sehun in a school project, remember? You were the private school kid and he was the poor, and kind of lost, boy. You easily became friends and discovered a lot of things together. However, Sehun has always been like this: lost. He drank, smoked, fucked around with whoever and whenever he felt like, and he cared for other only when he thought he should.

Well, maybe he still doesn't care. That's why you broke up, right? You felt like you were giving more than receiving, specially when Sehun pushed reality way and went back to being his lost teen self. On that day, you had the guts to close the door on his face and tell him you didn't want him in your life anymore. And that would've been wonderful and functional if in the next week this cycle hadn't started.

The first time he called it was 3:30 am and he insisted the whole night, apologising and letting countless messages. You almost gave in; that sad drunken voice sounded so believable and his feelings felt so true. However, I'm proud of you, you didn't get back together, but you did give in to his sad drunken blabbing and let him walk in through that door again.  _ This is the last time, did you hear me, Sehun? _

"A-Aaah!"

Sehun rolled over and lied beside you. He scented of cheap whisky. His hair was still dyed blonde - just like you had suggested, when you two were dating -, but the dark roots were starting to show. You almost considered it offensive regarding your habits, since you'd always argue about that. Sehun thought it was some bullshit of yours, but he'd always give in and dye it blonde again.

He's lying, looking at you non-stop, with his eyes fighting to stay open, when he leaned on to you and rubbed your forehead against his. You almost closed your eyes, Jongin, getting high from that tiny piece of hope you insisted on feeding.  Sehun touched your face and smiled before closing his eyes and letting himself go.

Even though he had acted a bit different from usual, I think this doesn't change what you represent to each other - or maybe what you represent to him. What matters it's the fact that tomorrow or later, he'll call you at 3 am, pleading for love and attention, and you'll keep answering his calls and opening your door to him, even if the smell of cheap whisky is unbearable.

You're still going to help him come in and will give in to each and every one of his warm kisses, and to every path his cold hands wish to trace on your body. You're also going to allow him to throw your clothes through the house and open your fridge if he feels like.

Jongin, admit, at least to your own conscience, you will never restrain this stray man from getting in your house and messing up everything. And even though he never answers you when you inquire as to why he only looks for you when he's drunk, you'll just ignore and give to yourself the same right to dream that there's more than alcohol between you.

 


End file.
